Twisted Kingdom

**NOTE: I'm only reviewing the first book in the series as I will get to the other story [the second half of this omnibus], The Lives of Christopher Chant, later. I will update the post then to include that review here.





I have been very interested in trying out this series for a while, as it sounded promising, and I finally decided to start with this omnibus containing the first two books in the Chrestomanci Chronicles: Charmed Life and The Lives of Christopher Chant.

I have four words to describe this book from start to finish: tedious, unexciting and completely irritating.

Let’s start with the plot, straight from Amazon:

Cat doesn't mind living in the shadow of his sister, Gwendolen, the most promising witch ever seen on Coven Street. But trouble starts brewing the moment the two orphans are summoned to live in Chrestomanci Castle. Frustrated that the enchanter Chrestomanci refuses to acknowledge her talents, Gwendolen conjures up a scheme that could throw whole worlds out of whack.

After that rather interesting premise you have to wonder what went wrong. From practically the first chapter there is nothing to grab your attention. After we learn of the unfortunate accident that left the Chant children orphans we are simply treated to an almost play-by-play of the everyday monotony that is the children’s lives. One thing we are told over and over is how talented and promising Gwendolyn is at witchcraft. Over and over and over…

Things only get worse when Chrestomanci takes in the siblings. Gwendolyn is the single most obnoxious child to ever walk the entire seven [or was that nine?] universes.

She, in fact, reminds me a little of Artemis Fowl but I have to say she beat him as far as being insufferable is concerned by a long shot. She is so full of herself she wants to be recognized for her power and is extremely put off, to say the least, that the great Chrestomanci pays her no heed. What’s a gal to do? Everyday she comes up with the worse spells she can think of to make the life at the castle miserable and so he will finally acknowledge her.

Let me assure you that I, at various times, wished I HAD magic so I could hop in the book and bitch slap the self obsessed little brat to the next universe. Then there was her brother Cat. Saying he didn’t have a spine is putting it mildly. He was ashamed by the things Gwen did and he would run and hide as if he did something wrong. She was constantly berating him yet he never once thought to stand up to her or get an adult involved even when Gwendolyn was getting way out of hand and was obvious she was close to harming someone. The way he just followed her around without saying anything for fear of, oh I don’t know…everything, was infuriating, annoying and every other –ting you want to think of.

This book was a definite DNF. I merely skimmed half of the book to see how it all ended and, honestly, not because I cared but more because I simply had to see for myself how in the hell the author was going to try and make sense of it all.

I give it a 1.5 out of 5 because at least the world was interesting even if the plot was excruciatingly dull and the characters exasperated you to no end. Let's hope that the next book, with the children out of the way since it takes place 25 years earlier than this one, will be better.

I'm pleased to have found out, via Anne Bishop's website, that this most amazing series is getting a makeover. Much as I adore this trilogy I always cringed at the horrible covers that, IMHO, didn't do justice to the brilliance inside.

Well, apparently someone over at the publishing house figured I wasn't the only one that felt this way and we know have, coming soon, the following beautiful covers for each of the books. So far they've only posted the first two but you know we'll keep you updated so check with us.

Major bonus points for choosing the incredibly talented Larry Rostant, one of my absolute favorite artists. He is amazing!

OK, the guy is hella hot but I don't think this cover goes with the series. I mean the guy? I'd totally do him, but he doesn't scream "Gardella Vampire Chronicles" to me.

Nonetheless I always say hey, it could have been worse. We've could have gotten Fabio.


LOL.

For an excerpt head on over to Colleen's site.

Let’s just say that, after the debacle that was The Black Tattoo, I was mighty happy to have found this first entry in what it looks to be like a great series.

Straight from Amazon:

Oklahoma orphan teen Leven Thumps has a hidden and powerful talent: he can glimpse, and then manipulate, the future. He is also the only person on the planet who can protect the gateway to Foo, a mythical realm whose existence ensures that human beings in this reality retain the ability to dream, hope and imagine. Sabine, the wicked ruler of Foo, wants to extend his tyranny by ruling this world as well-but if that happens, no one on Earth would ever be able to dream again. As Lev hurries to find the gateway between the two worlds before Sabine does, he encounters several friends to help him: Winter, a bright 13-year-old girl who can instantly freeze things and people just by wishing it; Clover, an adorable, foot-high furry creature from Foo who has been assigned as Lev's companion (and, apparently, as comic relief); and Geth, the wise but displaced king of Foo, who alone knows the full secret of the gateway.

There is honestly not much I can say about this book except to tell you I loved it and can’t wait to read the next in the series. The characters were all very likable and real, as real as characters in a fantasy book can get if you will, the action and the pace of the book was never dull, the villain felt as if he was worthy of the title [one of my pet peeves is a villain who never so much as hurts a fly] and I couldn’t get enough of it all.

If the rest of the books are as good as this one then I will say that this series is better than some of the other current YA fantasy favorites such as Artemis Fowl. Unlike the Fowl series [which is one big cliché after another, another pet peeve of mine] there is nothing cartoonish about this one. I especially liked the main characters of Leven and Winter and how they handled learning about the world of Foo. They didn’t just accept it and had to slowly get used to the idea of demons and other such things being real, Even then they had a hard time coming to terms with what they had to do, unlike some stories where the heroes don’t even blink after finding out all sorts of unimaginable creatures exist.

Leven Thumps may remind some of Harry Potter since he is an orphan stuck with the most unpleasant relatives as his caretakers. He may remind others of Tithe as much of the book takes place in Leven’s hometown, which has a certain “poor side of town” flavor, right down to the local trailer park. Whether you do or don’t like these books makes no difference, I say give this a try and I’m pretty sure you will not be disappointed.

A solid 5 out of 5.


I also recommend visiting the official website which is very entertaining, very eye-catching, and has some rather nice music to boot!